When in the world are they gonna actually fix it?!
I've tons of things to rant about.
I havent blogged for quite some time.
Can't really rmb, but i'll try to.
Firstly,
those kids last wk in the indoor stadium totally rocked the house down.
I really admire them for their courage to be able to perform to a crowd of mayb 10, 000?
But somehow,
while they were performing up there,
I suddenly felt very discouraged, just as if this feeling of despair just loomed over.
Lets just put it this way,
Everyone have their dreams and goals,
but mine seems really far and unachievable.
Dammit.
I can't believe in myself.
Coldness to the max.
On Thurs and Fri participated in FunFestique STARING competition.
It was totally retard.
Interhouse competition of which house can stare the longest.
Callisto managed to clinch a 3rd place position among the 5 houses.
I replaced Mingyang cuz his eye somehow teared like MAD while staring halfway.
My team was actually eliminated in the first qualifying rounds.
So,
Thur's staring was crazy shiat.
My match went up close to 10minutes of staring.
Couldnt blink altho my eye was alrdy straining like a women who burst her water bag.
What a retard analogy.
The girl opposite me teared like crazy cuz of dry eyes.
But somehow she managed to keep her eyes open.
Dammit.
I teared towards the end.
But at least managed to win.
Freak shit.
I tink there's a prize presentation tml.
Heard that there's gonna be medals.
RETARD.
Winning medals for STARING and GUESSING SONGS.
Wtheck.
But I can proudly say i can DIAO damn well now.
Staring's also one of my forte i guess.
Like who in the world has staring as their forte.
As if can take u to anywhr in life, guessing songs too.
This is insane.
But one thing's definite,
I can be a psychologist.
I tink so far i've managed to guess around 5 person's Myers-Briggs Personality type correctly the first try.
Not bad at all.
Principal's talk on Wednesday was so inspiring yet sian.
Lai made it sound like the Promos and As are major giants to be overcomed.
But, in fact, they are.
Its gonna be damn tough.
And im feeling scared actually,
of being retained, of failing promos.
But maths is just KILLING ME.
Horrible.
I have to pass maths and its gonna take a miracle for it to happen.
Lai said she was gonna give out the Promo results to everyone of us personally in the hall i think.
And those who didnt hit the promo criteria will receive their results first.
Holey shiat.
Scary enuff.
I gotta snap out of this slacky attitude.
But its so hard not to use the computer after i come back home from sch.
Im addicted and i cant quit.
Its killing me.
And then the S4 series were being treated as the louziest series again.
My class being the last of the series can then be taken as the louziest class luh?
Damn crappified.
First Lim Botak (form teacher) and now Lai.
ARGHH.
JC kills the minds of innocent young teenagers.
At least the talk inspired me to work harder.
But i kinda lack motivation.
I work under pressure but there's no pressure ATM.
So what now?.
I've no idea.
And after talking so much about inspiring me to work harder.
I still havent studied for the 2 Tests tml.
Wth.
Maths and Geog.
Maths i can giveup for nuts.
It wont help even if i study.
I shld go study geog now.
Tml my brain's gonna be screwed damn hard.
My life seems to be revolving around sch and sch and sch and sch.
Mundane to the max.
I need freedom.
Wanted to give up doing all these alrdy.
On the verge of telling you.
Its really no point if the heart has no conviction in whatever im doing.
I'm doing what im doing just because im SUPPOSED to do it.
It's an obligation now.
Im tired of doing it alrdy.
I'm not inspired and CONVICTED.
Its a routine now.
But SOMEHOW, u're psycho as always.
Spoked to me, thanked me etc.
At that point in time, i knew i couldnt bring myself to say what i wanna say to you after u said all those stuffs to me.
U said perservere.
But honestly,
I don't know how much longer can i perservere.
I might just give up and leave.
I thank you cuz u're the person who's most of the time been there for me.
I just cant open my mouth to say that, I QUIT.
Lets just put it that I don't wanna be a disappointment to you when u have such high hopes in me.
I'm not as strong and all that u made me sound to be like.
Really not.
And once again, the heart grows colder.
Labels: rantings on the wall